Before You Begin Therapy

Embarking on the therapy journey is a significant step towards healing and self-discovery. However, there are a few things you should be aware of before you dive in.

• Therapy Is a Process

Therapy is not a quick fix; it is a process that may take time. It requires patience—especially with yourself. True self-care is not about instant gratification but about giving yourself the space and time to heal at your own pace. Therapy involves peeling back the layers of your life, revisiting years of hurt and discomfort, and working to make sense of it all with the support of your therapist. This is not an easy task, and it can get messy. But this messiness is part of the healing process, a necessary step towards understanding and growth.

• Your Therapist Is Not a Crutch

It is important to remember that your therapist is not a crutch or a substitute for your own judgement. Therapy is not something you do because you are too afraid to speak up, live fully, or make mistakes. Your therapist is there to guide and support you, but they are not there to live your life for you. The real work happens outside the therapy room, in the decisions you make and the actions you take in your everyday life.

• The Importance of Community

While therapy is a powerful tool, it cannot replace the need for family and community. To achieve the full benefits of therapy, it is crucial to have a support system alongside your therapist. If you do not have a community, building one should become part of your therapy goals. Developing wholesome relationships and confronting any tendencies towards self-sabotage are essential steps in your healing journey.

Therapy is about more than just talking through problems; it is about creating a balanced and fulfilling life, with the support of both your therapist and the people around you. By embracing the process, being patient with yourself, and engaging with your community, you can achieve meaningful and lasting change.

Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a specialised form of therapy designed to address and resolve issues related to sexual function, behaviour, and emotional well-being. It can be particularly effective in helping individuals deal with trauma and addictions that impact their sexual health.

In the context of trauma, sex therapy provides a safe and supportive environment to explore and process past experiences that may be affecting one’s current sexual life. This can include experiences of abuse, assault, or other forms of sexual trauma. Through therapy, individuals can work to understand how these past events influence their current sexual behaviour and emotional responses. The therapist helps clients develop coping strategies, rebuild trust in themselves and others, and work through feelings of shame or guilt that may arise from their experiences.

When it comes to addictions, whether they are related to sexual behaviours, substances, or other compulsive activities, sex therapy helps by addressing the underlying psychological and emotional factors contributing to the addiction. The therapy involves exploring the roots of the addiction, understanding its impact on sexual health and relationships, and developing healthier coping mechanisms. It also focuses on creating a supportive environment for change and recovery, helping individuals build resilience and make positive lifestyle changes.

Overall, sex therapy aids in resolving trauma and addictions by fostering a deeper understanding of oneself, promoting healing, and facilitating the development of healthier sexual and emotional patterns.

FAQ Responses

Do I have to tell my therapist everything?

No, you do not have to tell your therapist everything. However, be mindful that withholding information may limit the effectiveness of the intervention you are working to create together. Consider these factors before you share:

1. Comfort:
   Do you feel comfortable with your therapist? When they listen to you, do you feel heard and understood? Is there a genuine sense of empathy? Can you trust this person to be your guide, and have they earned that position? The first session is as much for your therapist to assess if they can help you as it is for you to determine if you feel comfortable and can trust them.
2. Security:
   Do you feel safe during your sessions?
   • In a physical session, are they recording you without your consent? Are they gaslighting or emotionally manipulating you? Are they magnifying your insecurities to make you feel dependent on them? Are they touching you without consent or making inappropriate advances? Is there an unauthorised third party present in the facility?
   • In an online session, pay attention to your comfort level and always clarify your consent (or lack thereof) for any recordings.
   • Therapy is an emotional process that requires vulnerability. The last thing you want is to be hurt during therapy. It is perfectly reasonable to scrutinise your therapist as carefully as you would a neurosurgeon who is tasked with removing a brain tumour.

Can I end a session?

Yes, you can end a session. However, it is crucial to do so when you feel you have healed or if you believe another therapist may be better suited to help you.

Do not allow yourself to remain in pain just to prove a point about therapists. Just as there are amazing therapists around the world, there are also those who are not a good fit.

How do I end a session?

Review the contract: Check the terms for terminating your sessions

1. Walk away: If you feel threatened in any way that you cannot articulate, it is okay to leave immediately.
2. Finish the sessions: If there is no immediate threat and you are only dissatisfied with the technique, consider completing the sessions if they are few.

Can a family member be my therapist?

No, they cannot; they are too emotionally invested in your well-being, which can trigger personal biases and affect their objectivity.

Depending on their location and licensing, acting as your therapist could risk their practising licence. Should anything go wrong and legal action is taken, the law would not be on their side—this is not something you want to risk for a family member.

Can they truly handle the full extent of your pain? Will you trust them not to view you with unnecessary pity or sentimentality? Are you comfortable sharing the unvarnished truth with them? And even if they are discreet, can you be certain this information will not surface at a family gathering?

Can I ask my therapist to be confidential?

Confidentiality is part of the service you pay for—that is why you chose a professional therapist rather than seeking advice on social media. If your therapist cannot maintain confidentiality, you have the right to end the session. Depending on local laws, you may even be able to file a breach of contract claim.

When can my therapist break confidentiality?

Imminent threats to life: If you are at risk of harming yourself (e.g., attempted suicide).
Security threats: If you pose a danger to others or if your case involves social security and the state.
Need for additional support: If your therapist believes you need more specialised help, they may transfer your case file to another professional.

Contracts

Therapy businesses use contracts to establish clear expectations, boundaries, and responsibilities between the therapist and client. Contracts help protect both parties and ensure a structured therapeutic relationship. They outline the terms of service, confidentiality, payment, and procedures for ending or changing therapy.

Here are the types of contracts commonly used in therapy businesses:

1. Service Agreement: This outlines the terms of the therapy services provided, including the scope of the sessions, goals, and methods used. It details what both the therapist and client can expect from the therapeutic relationship.
2. Confidentiality Agreement: This specifies the therapist’s commitment to keeping all client information private, with exceptions outlined for legal situations where confidentiality may be breached, such as in cases of imminent harm.
3. Informed Consent: This document ensures that clients understand and agree to the nature of therapy, including potential risks, benefits, and the therapist’s approach. It is a key element in ethical practice.
4. Payment Agreement: This contract details the fees for therapy sessions, payment schedules, and any cancellation or no-show policies. It helps avoid misunderstandings regarding financial responsibilities.
5. Termination Policy: This outlines the procedures for ending therapy, whether by mutual agreement or if the client decides to switch therapists. It also includes how to handle any remaining sessions or fees.
6. Record-Keeping Policy: This describes how client records are maintained, stored, and protected. It addresses issues related to the security and confidentiality of client data.
7. Emergency Contact and Crisis Management: This specifies procedures for handling emergencies or crises, including how to contact the therapist outside of regular sessions if needed.
8. Teletherapy Agreement: For online or remote therapy, this contract outlines the technology used, procedures for ensuring privacy, and any specific issues related to virtual sessions.
9. Client Responsibilities: This document sets out the expectations for client behaviour, including punctuality, participation in sessions, and communication with the therapist.
10. Supervision and Referral Policy: This describes how the therapist will handle cases that require additional expertise or referrals to other professionals, ensuring clients receive the best care.